“Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin’ back from the island of Tinian to Leyte… just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn’t see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. 13-footer.
You know how you know that when you’re in the water, Chief? You tell by looking from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn’t know, was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn’t even list us overdue for a week.
Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin’, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know, it was kinda like old squares in the battle like you see in the calendar named “The Battle of Waterloo” and the idea was: shark comes to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin’ and hollerin’ and screamin’ and sometimes the shark go away… but sometimes he wouldn’t go away. Sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark… he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be living… until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin’ and the hollerin’, they all come in and they… rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don’t know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday morning, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boatswain’s mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up, down in the water just like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he’d been bitten in half below the waist.
Noon, the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us. He swung in low and he saw us… he was a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper. Anyway, he saw us and he come in low and three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and starts to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened… waitin’ for my turn. I’ll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water; 316 men come out and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb,” said Captain Quint.
2000: Movie on the flight deck. Good ole reel-to-reel.
We were watchin’ Jaws.
I thought back to my time on the Henderson.
The sharks would follow the ship most of the time. Waitin’. Waitin’ for the excess food and garbage to be dumped after breakfast, lunch, dinner or midrats.
And maybe they were waitin’ for someone to fall off the ship.
Live or dead they loved their meat.
Sharks. They got no compassion, you know. You can’t reason with a shark. You can’t negotiate or make a deal.
Sharks will just as soon eat an ambassador or diplomat, they aren’t picky.
Long as it bleeds they’ll feed. With those lifeless, souless eyes staring at you.
No. There’s no mercy in a sharks eyes, Chief…
I didn’t know anyone yet, so I sat by myself watching the movie.
Would I ever wear a lifevest if I fell into the deep blue? I really couldn’t say for sure.
I was surrounded by dozens of Sailors, but I was alone. Nobody knew me.
I sensed the overall moral on the Duluth was very low. Very negative. I didn’t like the vibes I was feeling.
Damnit. Why couldn’t I have stayed on the Henderson? How come Chief Cook couldn’t transfer here? I could sure use his humor right about now.
I missed Chief and Eltee. Hell, I even missed Smitty and Joe.
I knew I was feeling sorry for myself. Snap out of it Ben! It’s not like you haven’t been alone before. This isn’t like you.
Yeah, I know. It’ll get better. Right? Yeah, sure it will.
Are you up there God?
Sure, now you turn to God. When was the last time you prayed or even thought of Him?
Been awhile Lord… I’m sorry about that.
You should be. Where’s your faith now? Do you really think that God will listen to the likes of you? No, He has better things to do.
Lord?
Don’t you get it you idiot? You aren’t worth His time. Always asking and pleading.
You’re pitiful you know that?
Shut up! Leave me alone!
Ha ha! You can’t get rid of me you loser.
Lord, please forgive me for my sins.
Oh please. Spare me the contrite sinner routine. You’re a fraud.
A fraud? A loser? Me? Maybe so. But I’ll still pray.
Knock yourself out. But your wasting your time.
This is absurd! Is that other voice real or just my imagination?
Oh I’m real alright. More real than you can imagine. I know you.
Sh^t! Okay. Deep breath. Watch the movie. Quit talking to yourself.
Yeah, quit talking to me. Just remember, I’m always here.
I forced myself to watch the movie.
After the movie I headed for my rack. I quickly undressed and climbed into my rack.
I was tired, but I felt uneasy.
Dark forces were at work. I could feel it.
Father, please give me strength and renew my faith. Watch over my Grandpa, Grandma, my brothers Doug and Greg, and my Mom. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.
That felt so hollow. Why didn’t I feel God’s presence? What is wrong with me?
Do you want the long list or the readers digest version?
I’m going to sleep. Bug off!
I’ll be back…
So tired…
“Reveille reveille! All hands heave out and trice up! The smoking lamp is lit in all berthing areas. Now reveille!”
I just went to sleep! My eyes burned. No way is it 0600 already.
But it was. I jumped down to the cold tiles and put on my shower shoes. I hurried to the head to get a sink, but I had to wait. While waiting I put on my shaving cream.
The guy ahead of me finally finished and I moved up to the sink and started shaving.
Hmmm. Real mirrors. That’s nice.
I finished my business and got dressed. My boots looked good but I buffed them anyway. First day, I wanted to make a good impression.
I hurried up to the mess deck and stood in line for chow. 10 minutes later I sat down to eat.
Why am I so nervous? I ate quickly, barely tasting the food. After finishing I downed my milk and started drinking my coffee.
The closer it got to 0700 the more the butterflies acted up in my stomach.
0640. I decided to go have a smoke to calm my nerves.
0653. Time to go to muster. I wanted to be early.
I quickly transversed the ladders until I arrived on the 0-2 level.
There were 6 OS’s already there, shootin’ the breeze. I fell into the back rank.
Everyone seemed to be watching me. I felt uneasy and nauseated.
I will not throw up. I refuse!
That didn’t help. Damn, my stomach hurt! All cramped up! What in the hell was wrong with me?
I looked at my watch. 0659. One more minute. I could hardly wait.
